Inexcusably Promiscuous

It’s nice to dream of buying expensive cars, however, the affordability or the practicality factors almost always shatters that dream.  I always dreamt of buying a Ferrari, or a BMW, but was not always fascinated by those European beauties.  There was a period in my life for about 3 to 4 years immediately after I read Lee Iacocca’s autobiography, when I thought Ford Mustang ROCKS!  Then came the Mercedes era in my life, when I thought any car that the Daimler Chrysler made was the ultimate car that anyone can buy in India. 

            Sometime in 1998, I started following Formula One racing, and Michael Schumacher became my “god.”  Michael was so dominant between 2000-04 that even “Rajnikanth” took a break, refused to give even one hit through that period.  It was during this time that I picked up a liking for the Ferraris.  I also liked the BMWs mainly because James Bond drove them in a couple of movies.  In short, my love for a particular automobile was completely unrelated to a car or marquee’s performance.  I almost bought a Fiat Palio in 2002 because Schumi endorsed it.  Please understand that I have never driven any of the cars written about above other than the Indica, the Getz, and the Ritz. 

In all those years, I never once drooled over an Indian automobile, simply because it was uncool to drool over one!  The first Indian car that I almost liked was the Tata Indica.  Tata had it designed by Pininfarina, an Italian design firm.  My logic was – Pininfarina is an Italian company, Ferrari is Italian, and at that time, Michael Schumacher drove a Ferrari, it was blasphemous for me to not like the Indica.  I impressed on my family to buy an Indica, and a red one at that.  My logic again was simple, most Ferraris are red, and Michael Schumacher drove a Ferrari.

I never really enjoyed driving the Indica.  Primarily because the car never seemed sturdy; I could hear creaking noises from various corners.  There are witnesses who have heard me complain that the car’s body seemed like it would just roll over from the Chassis if I crossed 100 kmph!  I still enjoyed driving the Indica even when it broke down.  Let me explain: this one time when I was driving our Indica, and was stuck in a traffic jam for nearly 30 minutes, I saw smoke coming out of the front.  The AC was not working; the traffic police and the other drivers were shouting at me to get out of the car, but there I was sitting pretty in the car, all smiling.  My co-passenger, who also happened to be an F-1 fanatic, understood me.  It was then, although for a very brief moment, I felt what an F-1 driver must be feeling when his car breaks down, or that’s what I thought.  Aside from this one experience, I never liked the Indica.

In 2005, I bought a Hyundai Getz.  I liked the looks, not a exciting car to drive, but it was big.  The downside for the Getz though was the mileage; it gave 9 kmpl.  So after deliberating for 5 years, I sold the Getz and bought a diesel Suzuki Ritz in March 2010.  I convinced my wife to go for this ugly duckling by enticing her with promises of more vacations.  Well, I have tried my best to keep up my word.  Anyway, I had promised my wife that I would not think of another car for a minimum of 5 years.  The promiscuous feeling has returned with a bang.  For the first time, I have literally fallen in love with an Indian automobile.  It is the Mahindra XUV Five Double Ooh (“XUV 500”).  It is not just me, every man who speaks to me about the XUV 500 is in love with this vehicle, there is a minimum of an 8-month waiting period if at all you are one of those lucky few who are able to book the XUV 500.

This was until yesterday.  Today, I want the Fluidic Verna, and every man who speaks to me about the Verna is in love with it as well.  

I started writing this post two days ago intending to shower praises on the XUV, and swear my undying love for this automobile; today however, XUV is not that enticing.  I had previously written about this adulterous feeling that I had when I owned the Getz, but even I was not expecting that I would do so often!  I will explore deeper into my thought process in the coming posts as to why this is happening to me.  I will write a couple of sequels, and few prequels to this post to analyze this.  

Acting Busy!

When you have nothing to do, Walk Fast, and Act busy!!  I liked this principle the moment I read this 20 years ago.  These days, the "Walk Fast" part of the saying has vanished, only the "Act busy" part remains.  I will explain!

Over the last year, I tried to observe people and their reaction to human company; I was quite surprised that nearly 80% of the people who worked with or around me in that period almost most certainly walked fast, or suddenly received a phone call when the other person was about to say hello!  Since not every one can be so busy, I began to staunchly believe that most of these people follow the above principle.  Because, in this day and age, people don’t really have the time, or for that matter, don’t need to walk fast anywhere, they seem to have decided to walk with a purpose no matter where they are going, to act busy.

Now, ‘walking with a purpose’ is in itself an art; these people (including me!) walk with a straight and a very serious face, and at all times refuse eye contact with the person walking by you, or standing next to you.  Walking with a purpose also requires a person to have a gloomy look, and if you are able to take long strides it would then mean that you are busier than ever.

Now, the all-important question is, why did “I” have to conduct this study?, which in itself is devoid of all purposes.  To be honest, I never observed anyone with an intention to study them; I am not qualified to embark on an interpretive journey of the human behavior.  But, but, but… I did find that today, people go to all extents to avoid the other guy, no matter who that person is.  For example, a boss thinks it is demeaning to talk to his team member in public; I would sincerely like to believe that he is doing so that other people do not consider the boss too soft.  What surprises me is that people refuse to even smile at the other person, they don’t even want to acknowledge a greeting.  Nearly 90% of the time, the person trying to smile at me would be the person I know for years, it is the same for other people as well.

How do they avoid it you may ask, simple, they just avoid eye contact.  Now isn’t that cool!  People today would rather talk to sales people on the phone, even if it is to shout at them for disrupting their ‘busy’ life, than get on to a conversation with the next guy.

I remember my grandmother talking to her friends about everything under their ‘sun,’ for hours together without getting bored.  Today! Neither my grandmother nor her friends are alive, and I have not yet found anyone who can hold a decent conversation, which is completely non-controversial.  I don’t say that we should all stop whatever it is that we are doing and start yakking away with other people over meaningless topics, I just miss those tidbits my grandmother used to tell me about what her friend’s grand kid did that particular day. 

Basically, my one-year observation reinforced my belief in “when you have nothing to do, walk with a purpose, and act busy;” Can a-rithist sin? (kahn uh-REE-isht shin).  (That’s Scottish Gaelic for, “you can say that again.”)

Irresponsible People With Their Thirst For Disaster

I was in school, and we had exams the last time the Ayodhya issue cropped up, and I was majorly disappointed that my school compelled all of us to not only attend school but also write exams during that period. I am talking about 1992. And today on September 30, 2010, the Allahabad High Court passed an order finally (hopefully no party will appeal to the Supreme Court) and has given 1/3rd share to both the communities. I am relieved that this has gone down well with people (and I really really hope that people don’t change their views come tomorrow morning).

As of now, I am a very relieved man. I have been worried over last few days leading up to today. I cancelled all my appointments for meeting my clients for today and tomorrow, and have holed my family and myself up in our house. I was worried that there will be people – who still have that what it takes to kill people and damage innumerable properties in the city – on the streets by evening today waiting for their chance to show that they just like their predecessors can also do it. Nothing of that sort happened, and the streets – touch wood – are really calm tonight.

The reason for this post is that I am seriously concerned with the intentions of the media in this issue. Two nights ago, one news channel had got the hardliners from both communities for the discussion and was throwing up hypothetical scenarios and asking for their response. These guys are hardliners for a reason, and they did their job pretty well. This worried me more. And today, after the verdict, when most people are genuinely happy that there is some sort of a resolution in sight for this centuries old dispute, there are some people, in the media who still want to debate why is there peace today. These journalists are concerned not with the fact that both communities will have 1/3rd share on the disputed land, but with the fact that though the Court found that there was a massive Hindu religious structure before the mosque was built, yet Hindus only got a third share. They are also concerned that Muslim sentiments are hurt because the Court overlooked that they prayed there for nearly 400 years. Thankfully, no one from either of the communities is as worried about these issues as our journalists.

These are not some ordinary journalists in some cheesy news channels, I am talking about highly reputed, and experienced people, instigating people to make some horrendous comments so that at least can make the headlines. What were these people expecting? Were they expecting innocent people to die in the aftermath of their skewed imagination coming true tonight so they can nonchalantly speak their minds off about both communities.

The media should have the right to inform people about the happenings in the society, and not try and create unrest in the society. Whatever it is that gives them the right to comment or criticize about religion, also imposes reasonable restrictions on them from making comments against the religion. Tonight, for the first time I feel that we have a highly immature media in the country, they are better off reporting some lady crying her heart out on TV that she was married to Abhishek Bachchan on the day he was getting married. We have a very cynical media, and today I think I will be pardoned if I say that our media is not a reflection of our society. People are not on the street tonight trying to fight, it is the journalists who are doing it now.

Tonight, I have a new found reason to be proud to be an Indian, and no journalist can take it away.

Calangute It Is!

After Ritz, I have done my fair bit of out of state driving -- I have gone to Kerala, and Maharashtra.  It is now time for me to ply on the Goan roads.  This Goan tour was not supposed to have happened in the first place because we had planned on going to the "valley of flowers."  We were forced to postpone that trip until next year, for various reasons.  Anyway, I am not complaining, K has agreed to sit with me in our car even after that small skid we had in our last trip to Pune, which could have ended pretty dangerously.

I don't know who among us is more excited than the other.  My son is working very hard even as I am writing this to pack his clothes, little does he know that his mom is going to rip the bag apart when she comes back.  K is being very cautious -- she seems glad that I have finally started enjoying traveling, she also tells me to get the family back alive.  COME ON!  Regarding my excitement levels, I have only been telling people at work that while they will be having loads of fun working on Monday, I will be so very much troubled with my family around me on the beaches in Calangute.  They all sympathize with me.  :)  Well!! I do have a reason to be so very much excited.  I have almost planned this trip to perfection: (1) hotel rooms are booked; (2) memorized the route; (3) even surprised K by getting all our clothes ready for packing (she has to do the packing, because I will be tired with all the driving :) ); (4) bought my self beautiful jeans; (5) have completely charged up my son; and (6) have completed most of my work commitments.

I am glad for two reasons: I have never enjoyed traveling as much as I am doing at the moment, and I have never enjoyed traveling as much as I am doing right now.

I am planning to write a travelogue when we have returned.  And, 

Más vale pájaro en mano que cien volando. A bird in the hand is worth more than 100 flying.

 

No por mucho madrugar amanece más temprano. Not through much awaking early does the dawn come earlier.

Threatening Calls!!

I am a big sucker for advertisements of any sort, and I almost end up buying everything that I see and like.  I say "almost buy" because "K" has threatened me with dire consequences if I attempt to buy anything over a 1000 bucks.  Things were not always this bad for me and I was pretty much free to buy whatever I thought was necessary, until the time I decided to buy this brilliant piece of automobile that "K" completely despised.  I went on to buy that one car, which "K" had specifically asked me not to buy.  In my defense, it still was a wise decision to buy it.  Now, "K" made me swear that I would never buy any big ticket item for the next 5 years without her consent.  She does not have the faintest idea what she has done to the economy.  Because of my promise to her, I have single handedly derailed the economic recovery.

I am any sales guy's paradise; in fact, I think sales people give their interns or trainees my phone number so they can practice on me.  Let me explain...

I generally get about 10 - 15 sales calls a day, of which I entertain about 6 calls,  I am not rude to any of them, and I politely refuse to buy whatever it is that they are trying to sell me.  Some guys are so convincing, I give them "K's" number, and tell them to convince her so I can buy whatever it is that they are trying to sell.  Whatever may be the outcome of these calls, most sales guys would agree that I have bettered the statistics, in as much as the number of people calling me, and my responses to them.  I am what they might term a "hot lead," that never goes cold.  People have more hits with me than with anyone else. Sometimes, these sales guys start stalking me, and make my life a living hell.

Since these are my posts, allow me to indulge myself a bit, and let me explain my misery.

There is this video rental company in Bangalore, which keeps bugging me and trying to lure me into their trap by offering me 12 free movies and an encyclopedia free with a subscription for Rs. 2999 only.  I had once previously fallen prey to their calls, I subscribed for a 30 movie package and paid for those movies in advance but ended up ordering only 2 movies over the three months of subscription.  They tried their level best to get me back into their vicious circle, and then they gave up.  I received a text from this company yesterday and I immediately started salivating at the prospect of being able to watch movies delivered to your doorstep at home, and not to mention that 12 movie free pack that I would receive coupled with the encyclopedia.  I responded to this text only with an intention to know what was the deal.  Now it seems like I have invited the devil home as this guy is literally hounding me to go for this subscription.  I would term this as trying to muscle me in to submission.  I will try hard not to buy their subscription, as I am bound by this unbreakable vow, and don't we all know what happens when this vow is broken - JK Rowling has educated all of us very well.

Another example - there is this charitable trust, who cater to under privileged kids, I started receiving calls from these people about 8 months ago, and they too are hounding me for a donation.  I first received a call from this trust from a sweet talking lady who introduced herself and the trust to me, and spoke to me about how this trust is feeding the needy and whatnots.  I thought she wanted some volunteers, and therefore, I was very keen on listening to whatever she had to say.  I realized that this was an extortion call only at the end when she asked me "so how much are you going to pay, and will that be cash or a cheque?"  Now, now, wouldn't it be rude on my part if I said no to her, considering the fact that she spoke for about 20 minutes?  I said I will think about it.  She then says, give me a time, I will send some one to pick up the cash or cheque.  I insisted that she wait before I donated.  She then promptly started calling me once every week, and then I reached a stage where I had to save her number as the "Danger Lady" so that I will not have to answer her calls.  I thought I was free... and then....yesterday, I get this call from an unknown number, and I promptly answer, and she says:

Sir! remember we spoke for this donation?
You have been avoiding my calls, when can I send my man for collecting the money?

I was like... Oh dear GOD!!

It reminded me of one of those scary movies, where we are made to believe that the murderer is dead, only to find at the last scene that his body was missing, and he is still lurking around looking for another kill...

PS: For those who are considering buying a house right now?  Think Twice Before You Buy.

Not Maid In Bangalore South

Had a very eventful weekend.

Good News:

My childhood Indian friend - now an American resident - met his wife over the internet - had an arranged marriage! I attended his wedding "after" party (poor chap he was all smiles, and was completely clueless that he would never smile again). This was on saturday. I swear I did not do anything that was not acceptable to the family crowd that night.

Not so good news:

On Friday, my son was first wrongly diagnosed as - I quote "he has indigestion" - by a local doctor. On Saturday our regular pediatrician rightly diagnosed him as suffering from gastroenteritis, and my son was now officially sick. On Sunday, I had to attend this other function (my boss's), so I just vanished leaving my wife alone. Leaving her alone with my sick son and attending functions seems very cruel. "Man is a social animal" and all that crap is in fact true. We need to attend functions, else people will perceive you to be a nut case. So I attended the function, food was very good though.

Of national importance:

Anyway, my itinerary apart, I want to address a serious issue here - resource crunch. You think only the IT majors are suffering the resource crunch? Think again... Aam junta is suffering too. There are not just enough maids in Bangalore south. You can offer them perks that you yourself do not enjoy in your office, you can even try and give them hikes despite bad performances, but nothing can stop the retrenchment. There is another problem - Poaching - your neighbors are always lurking around to try and poach your maids.

On Sunday, we had some serious problem, our maid ran away. She refused to come and clean the mess we make. Totally unacceptable!!

A little background of my misery:

In January, our long time maid decided to blackmail us and abruptly quit. Fie on her. We immediately replaced her with some one very homely, who instilled so much of confidence in me that made me conclude that I was a god's favorite child. She left after a week, she gave no reason, and she never came back for the money. Fie on her too.

Next, we found another lady in the second week of January, she was a hard working lady. She lasted only for a day. After one week of rigorous house cleaning (despite the tall claims made in the latest post by Kanchan - I help around a lot), we were yet again successful in finding a maid. She was inexperienced and she was the one who decided to leave us in the lurch just this Sunday. She too has not come for her money. Now what is the matter with these people? Why don't they want the money that they have earned.

The Conclusion:

And then it dawned on to me, they don't work for the money - they work for the pleasure. I think these people do it for professional satisfaction. They just move from one house hold to another, just to spread the joy.

Anyway, after serious bribing of the security guards in our apartment, and false promises, I have been able to secure the services of another maid. Her pilot assignment today was very good, I am just hoping that she will turn out for work tomorrow morning, and keep up the good work. Or else! As we are are a developed nation...

The Prince Of Good Times

Ok.. Now that I am the proud owner of a super sexy automobile (fit for “uncles” as my wife would swear to, well! what does she know). I decided to visit my uncle, I term him as the Prince of good times. He sent me to his estate over the week end.

And this is where I was:





Amazing!!!

I stayed in this house




And then I saw this,



This,



And this, (almost cool isn't it?) (If only I had a couple of lakhs of Rupees worth of a camera, along with the knowledge to use it, this pic might have been stupendous)



The guardians



1. Rani, 2. Johnny, 3. Jackie, and 4. Byra


I stayed in the only house for acres around with a vast drying yard completely surrounded by hills. The Prince just owns hills, and streams running through those hills. I don't believe the pictures do justice to what we experienced, but what we experienced was far more than I had bargained for when I first decided to visit the prince.